Random thoughts at the grocery store:
I wish I could get some award for my uncanny knack of knowing which people in the parking lot are going to head straight to the liquor aisle once inside.
Yeah. That's right. I am one of those people who will dig through multiple packs of paper towels to find the design I want, Miss Huffer Pufferton behind me. Go around me before I start throwing the packs I don't want at your head.
Keep walking. Don't stop at the Cadbury eggs
I curse you GW Bush for making me buy these stupid swirly mercury laden light bulbs that cause more shadows than emit light. If I wanted my house to cast the dingy glow of a bar I'd, I don't know go to a bar. I wonder how many bars of soap I have left at home.
Ignore that second display of Cadbury eggs.
Let's see how many people I can cause to race to the checkout line by acting like that's where I'm heading after looking them in the eye. Dang. She's fast for a little old lady. Mean, too.
Are you freakin serious? How many Cadbury egg displays are necessary?
Kombucha tea on clearance for one dollar? Score. I don't even like Kombucha but it's a dollar.
Walk away from the Cadbury eggs.
Kombucha. Komboooooocha. Kombububububububchachacha. Komoooooooooobucha. Koma Koma Koma Kombooochaaaa. Ohhhhhh the Kombucha. "Kombucha cha cha cha" Oh crap. I wonder how long I've been saying that out loud without realizing it.
This kid has been darting in front of me the whole time. One more time, little brat. One more time and I'm pretending not to see you and taking you down. "Oops. Sorry. I didn't see you there. Are you okay, Sweetie. Bless your heart." That. was. epic. Kombooooya!
Why do I always pick the line where somebody can't operate the credit card machine? Have mercy. Why doesn't the cashier just do it for her instead of repeating "try it again"?
Coupons! I forgot the coupons. But that's okay because I'm saving money on the Kombucha. Oh. Komabucha, Komobucha. Where for art thou, Komabucha. Komabuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu STOP THAT! Don't start it up again.
I deserve an award for not using the baggers to take my groceries. They are always so busy. I am such a kind soul always looking out for the welfare of others.
I can't believe that twit is using help out to her car when she knows that means the elderly lady behind her will now have to wait for help because Miss I can't break a nail is entitled to help with her 4 bags. Wait a minute that's the Huffer Pufferton paper towel lady. I hope she has a flat.
Hey! It's the liquor dude again. Wonder if he finished his 40 malt and is going back for another? "'Sup, dude?"
Suckers! I'm done with my shopping, pulling out of the parking lot and you losers are just getting started. Komboooya!
I would pay someone to bring in the groceries and put them away. Then she could tell me where in Sam Hill I am supposed to put all this Kombucha tea?
I should have gotten that Cadbury egg. . . Or a 40 malt.
Hey. The Kombucha tastes a little like a 40 malt would. Kombucha cha cah cha. Kombucha Tea. Like a 40 malt only without the hangover. Oh you'll still puke after drinking it but no hangover and no need to hide it in one of those brown paper bags that announces HEY! I'm drinking a 40 malt but shhhhhh. Nobody knows it. But wait. Call now and get TWO Kombucha teas for the price of one. Just pay an additional and ungodly shipping/handling fee and it's free.
I'm going to have to go back for a Cadbury egg. Is it worth the gas to get there?
Kumbetcha. cha cha cha
