Since it looked cleaner outside than inside we took his food to the empty playground. He ate and then told me he loved me. Then he asked to climb up the playground gym. I reminded him that the last time he tried he was scared and his cousin had to go after him. We had no cousins with us. He promised he could go to the top and slide down all by himself. He had changed since that last time. He had the hiccups earlier and I told him myself it was because he was having a growth spurt so he knew he was bigger and he could do it. Again, I relented. I watched in amazement as he easily scrambled up like a billy goat and was confused for a few minutes because his laughs so quickly changed to cries when he reached the top.
I had to rescue him. It had to be at least 20 feet up. It was high enough for me to remember I hate heights, so maybe it was 100 feet. I was going to have to do 150 feet of climbing up those stupid platforms with my purse tied around me like a fanny pack. I am sure it was my 2" thick purse that was causing me to yank my wedged backside out of each platform space to move on to the next. Then at the top of 200 feet I had to ignore all the Grackle poop that Jedi had clearly already belly crawled through in his terrified state of being stuck so high up. After pleading with him to go down the slide because sliding down the corkscrew tunnel 250 feet up in the air was way easier than climbing down the platforms that clearly weren't made for ladies carrying purses, it was his turn to relent. So after I pried his sweet little hands that had turned into a suffocating vise off of my neck and I could breathe again I sat him on my lap and moved his statue like body around telling him it would be less scary if he could see where he was going. (It would be less scary if he didn't see me make the sign of the cross and beg God not to
It was too late to go back so I pushed off. Jedi reached back behind him and with those pudgy little cherub vise grips grabbed the first part of my body he could which was my neck again. I've gone down corkscrew slides before and moved slowly. So slowly I wanted to scream because I thought I would be stuck. I heard myself screaming. This time because of the complete opposite of moving slowly and the static electricity shocks, and because I saw Jedi hit his head again and again with each turn, and because I couldn't breathe. It wasn't Jedi's vise grip. His hands were now squeaking down the sides as he tried to stop us. Oh God, I couldn't breathe. Was this a punishment for making the sign of the cross when I'm not Catholic? I'm sorry Jesus. So sorry. The dark enclosure was too much and I knew we had at least 300 more feet to go because we weren't even half way through. I was going to die. Still screaming, but noticing Jedi had stopped I opened my eyes to check on my baby boy. There was sunlight. There was no more motion. We were at the bottom and had lost all momentum. I still couldn't breathe because my purse strap was now around my neck pulling. Gravity is a mysterious thing.
With all the dignity I could muster I helped Jedi down to the ground shocking him at least two more times. Then I stood up and could feel the static cling all over my body. I adjusted my purse while feeling my hair standing on end like I was a cartoon character who had just stuck a fork into a wall outlet. I was alive. Feeling grateful for another day of beauty surrounding me I brushed the bird poop off both our bottoms and told Jedi to get his boots so we could leave.
After he stomped on his boots I heard his sweet little , "Mommy?" I looked at my baby boy expecting to see my awesomeness in his eyes. I was going to tell him he didn't have to thank me. That's just what Mommies do.
He told me the next time I climb up there he wasn't going to help me get down again.
He told me I was holding his hand too hard as we marched out.
I asked him if it felt like a vise.
That climb reminds me of the giant fish I caught. Went from 3 inch to over THREE foot as the story was told. Glad each of you could rescue each other, hand in vice or not.
ReplyDelete