Reflections

Have you ever had that random moment in time that you kick yourself for not having a camera ready to capture the memory that was just created? I have many of those, but this morning as I indulge in the crisp start of another autumn one moment stands out among the others.

I was still newly married and barely in my twenties. I was leaving the mall thinking about the group of young Jr. High girls I had seen inside. I had been in the restroom and had no choice but to listen to their loud giggly conversation as they put on way too much lipstick in an attempt to make themselves look older than they were. One girl was scrutinizing herself in the mirror while her friends told her how pretty she was. I was remembering those same feelings of insecurity that I knew they were all feeling, but would never admit. I was grateful that I had made it out of that awkward stage of life for the most part unscathed.

I was on the sidewalk walking towards the row of parking I had used when I saw her gazing into the window at Sears. At first I thought she was just looking inside the store, but upon a closer glance I realized she was looking at her reflection. I noticed her face as I studied her reflection and thought of how many life stories those wrinkles foretold. Her perfectly placed hair made me suspect that she had just finished getting it "done" in the salon. The sunlight was highlighting its beautiful shade and I wondered how long it was gray before it had turned into its final color of shimmering snow. Her crooked fingers rummaged around in her purse for a while and she brought out a tube of red lip stick. With a shaking hand, she used the window's reflection to delicately color in her lips. It was a beautiful picture and was such a stark contrast from what I had witnessed in the restroom. Life settled around me and I understood that I too would transition from an apprehensive young girl, putting on bright lipstick to make myself look older--into a frail, aging woman still full of life putting on lipstick to make myself look younger. But what a difference those two people would be. The girl in the rest room mirror looked wistfully in the mirror putting on layer upon layer of lipstick. The young girl had posed with pouty lips trying to look confident but her eyes still betrayed her young insecurity. She needed her friends to give her false assurance with their rehearsed compliments. I smiled as the older woman puckered her lips and playfully kissed at her reflection. Her face betrayed her age, but her eyes revealed the young soul inside who had finally found an impassive assurance within herself and was ready to face the world on her own.

I still have a long road before I am the lady in the window reflection. My face is just starting to give in to the beginning of wrinkles and while I am much closer to gaining the amount of security that I saw in her, I still have a ways to go. There is so much more to learn in life and so many more wrinkles to add to my story. Along the way I will always remember that lady's reflection and strive to make my own one of joy and little regret.

I still wish I would have had a camera that day. But some pictures will forever remain even if they aren't captured on film.