I Wish Face Book World Could Cross Over Into the Real World

Jason plays WOW (World of War Craft for you lucky few who don't know what WOW stands for) He plays it alot. I used to make fun of him and tell him he was going to turn into one of "those" people who have trouble distinguishing between real life and the imaginary world where blood elves and tauren could jump out from behind any rock. (on a side note while I was typing this I asked Jason what those ugly little bull things are called that he plays in WOW. He indigently responded that they were Tauren and they weren't little or ugly. They were huge and they were a proud race. He might be one step closer than I thought to not being able to distinguish reality from Azeroth, but I have no time to worry about that now.) I can no longer make fun of him and his love for the MMORPG (again for those of you lucky enough not to know that means: mass multi-player online role playing game.) I can make fun of him no more because I too have an addiction with an online world.

My signing up for Facebook didn't begin as an addiction. In fact, I would log in once a day when I thought I had enough time to piddle away. But then I started finding more and more old friends in the social network and began finding news sources and other resources that I could follow. Suddenly I was logging in several times a day. At first, I kept my pride. I would refuse to post a comment on someone's status until hours had passed. I would post a status only once in a 24 hour period. I would wait an appropriate amount of time before responding to anyone's comment on my status or any messages they sent me. Then the hours long wait turned into just a few minutes. Suddenly that morphed into abandoning all regard for others' opinions about my FB habits and I would respond within nanoseconds of people's posts. I was status updating several times a day. Something would happen and my first thought would be, "I'm going to facebook about that." I know that makes me look like I live on FB and I just don't care. (notice I just use the initials FB, as if we are old friends-- Facebook and I.)In fact, not only am I unashamed about the frequency in which I FB, I wish real life could be more like FB.

                                                                                             THE LIKE BUTTON

There are so many times in life I find myself just wanting to give the thumbs up signal. Many times I find myself rushing through the grocery store searching for that one forgotten item from the last trip and wanting to get out of the store as quickly as possible. Then out of nowhere there is someone I know wanting to chat. I wish I could just flash them the "like" sign as they told me all about their planned vacation or their new found love of basket weaving. How much time would be saved if I could do that and keep right on walking? Wouldn't that make a lovely world where giving a thumbs up without further comment didn't seem rude and was actually accepted AND appreciated?  Imagine if the thumbs up in all aspects of life could be taken as me saying I like you, I acknowledge that I care about your life, but this is all I've got right now.
There are times when I want to just use that signal before a face to face conversation even begins so the person doesn't notice that it's past noon and I still haven't put on makeup, or fixed my hair or brushed my teeth or changed out of the same clothes they last saw me in. Just a quick thumbs up and I'm on my way and the other person is appeased because I did indeed notice her, I just had nothing to say.
A Mormon at the door? A group of Jehovah's Witnesses congregating on your porch? A new church down the road that is trying to find some new members? A crack of the front door wide enough to stick out a wrist with a thumbs up to them means I'm praying for you, you can pray for me if you want in your own time as long as you don't take up any of my own time,  I'm not going to be debating you, don't you dare leave that booklet in my mailbox and I already have plans on Sundays, now be on your way.
Sometimes I just want to use the "like" signal when someone is talking and I'm in a listening only mood. There are occasions when I love listening to what the person is talking about, but I can't think of anything to add to the conversation. When it comes to that awkward moment when she is waiting for me to add my two cents I wish I could just do a thumbs up to let her know to continue on without her feeling like I am bored. Think of all the pressure in a conversation the thumbs up could alleviate. 

                                                                         HIDE

I've used this lovely little feature often in FB. The intended facebook peep sees everything I do and can comment at any time on my page or about my posts. But I don't have to see his status updates feeding into my page. I use this usually when someone is going through a divorce and every post is bashing the soon to be ex, which results in the in-laws jumping in and defending the ex, which leads to her getting in on the action and sharing with everyone some deep dark secret about him that no one either needed or wanted to know. I admit, sometimes that is fun to watch. It's almost like a Jerry Springer episode only much more sad because you know that the FB peeps aren't acting. Despite me wanting to comment how stupid the person was for not blocking the ex and all the soon to be ex-inlaws and friends I usually hide those people for a while and then go to their page to test the waters to see if the worst has passed. If so, I unhide them and they are never the wiser.

I also hide those people who I like, but whose annoying status ratio far outweighs their entertaining or enlightening ones. We all go through those periods in our lives where we are annoying to others. Which leads me to wonder how many times that hide option has been used on me.

                                                                       UNFRIEND

I haven't used this one, but I think some have used it on me. From what I understand when this maneuver is employed the intended un-friendee can no longer see the page of the un-friender but can still see his or her comments on another's page and can still look them up on facebook or send messages to them. I think it's used when someone's feelings are hurt and it reminds me of the Jr. High days when one friend didn't agree with another so they stopped being friends for a while, but made sure each other could see all the fun they were having without them. Eventually the animosity subsides and they approach each other and want to be friends again. This is a measure some use because they can still get a friend back and pretend that FB messed up because they  would "never actually unfriend anyone." I think this has been used on me, but I don't have the desire to send another friend request or message after they send me another request to find out. It's been a long time since I was in Jr. High and I have no desire to act like that again.




                            BLOCK

The mama jama of FB features. The BLOCK! I've used it when I get a message or friend request from someone that I have no clue who they are and suspect that they are spammers. I've NEVER used it on anyone that has made it to my friend's list. But I have used it recently to hide the comments of someone who I didn't even know. He would pop up from time to time on other pages and I got tired of seeing his stupidity so . . . BLOCK! Now I can't see him and he can't see me on anything. Unless I change that setting he can't even look me up in a listing on Facebook.  It's as though I have disappeared unless I decide to reappear. How I wish I could use this in real life. No more playing nice or tolerating someone because I have no other choice but to see them often. Just BLOCK and the blinders are on and we don't even know each other is around. Why would someone want to be around me if they don't like me? Why should I have to be around someone I don't like and even if I did like them, why would I want to be around someone who didn't like me?  You see? It's a win/win. If I could do a real life BLOCK, I wouldn't have to be the hermit I look forward to becoming when I am old. I could just keep my friends who understand that I still love them and find them fascinating even when all I ever give them is a thumbs up 'like' motion without going into in-depth conversations with them. I would gladly keep those friends who know that on my cantankerous days they will be hidden from me for a brief while and are fine with that and will not hesitate to do the same to me. Then I could just block everyone else so they don't have to worry about pretending to like me and I don't have to concern myself with trying to hide the fact that I don't like them. How great would that be?

But all that is just wishful thinking so I must hold on to the face to face social skills I have left. Hopefully Jason and I can get a grip on our on line worlds before they cross over into real life.  I'm not so much worried about myself.  Flashing a thumbs up signal or smushing my face into a cereal box at the grocery store so I don't have to see someone isn't all that hard to explain and can just be blamed on stress.  But if Jason begins trying to shoot fireballs out of his hands in an attempt to use his avenger shield on someone he doesn't like followed by screaming "For the Horde!" as he begins digging into their pockets to collect the "spoils"  then we might have a problem on our hands.

And for the record Jason has completed *two quests in WOW as I typed this entry and I have checked FB at least a dozen times. And Abigail has been sitting on her chair with no other option but to watch cartoons as  her dogs are gathered  around her.  I'm pretty sure she's scheming a way to train them to go outside with scissors and cut the cable/internet line so she can have her parents back.

* After Jason read this he said, again with indigence, that he had compelted at least 10 quests and he had moved up 1 level.  He also couldn't understand why I didn't mention that his Tauren was a Paladin.  I feel like such a failure now as a wife. How could I not have known all that?